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angryasianman

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r u 4 rlz? [22 Sep 2008|10:46am]

Seriously, dudes?  JUMPING photos?  At your age?  With your UCLA/Cal/USC/Stanford degrees shouldn't you be oh say about 20 YEARS too fucking old for that?  What the hell is wrong with thirtysomething Asians in Los Angeles?  Dudes, seriously, even the high school kids are done with the jumping photos phase, just go check out ____aloof for the proof.  Well, fuck having careers and mortgages and wives and kids by now!!  Instead you've got jumping pictures!!!  woot woot my LAsians.

PS, cynnaminthia and dilly and girlyunderwear:  I remembered the name of the book that I wanted to recommend to you gals.  Its called "He's Just Not That Into You".  I promise it will provide you with pages and pages of retrospective enlightenment.

Can someone do us all a huge favor and get hipstomp to teach his buddy Logan how to write a readable paragraph?  Or maybe even just a coherent sentence?  Please???  Someone have mercy and do the same for nondescriptboy too.  Whiny Asian dudes that write like 14 year-old preteen girls bemoaning their dramatic, self-centered, sadsack arrested developments are NOT helping to advance the cause.

Alone and Lonely for Life? TBD [02 Aug 2008|04:55pm]
Straight up for you cynnaminthia:

You don't know me, but I know of you.  I don't want to know you personally, but I have seen you in action.  I have some advice for you.  The reason why Chris Chan Lee (whose name you abbreviate as "CCL" in your posts) broke up with you is because you are not a keeper.  Strictly a rental.  Part-timer.  Someone with whom to pass a few years.  A comma.  Nothing to take seriously.

Not that you couldn't be more than this for someone else, but this wasn't your role in your relationship with CCL.  Whether you knew it or not then, you need to accept it now.

There is hope for you, because I believe you can become a good person.  To become one will take a huge attitude adjustment though.  Your personality is highly unappealing and toxic to those around you, as you have probably figured out by now due to your inability to retain friends.  Please for fuck's sake stop being so negative all the time.  Also, your constant self-promotion and boasting regarding your "career" and guys who purportedly want to date you betray a massively insecurity.  Changing your personality and attitude are the first and most important steps.  After that, you should look into dropping a few pounds.  I don't say this to be mean, but let's be honest:  your body could use a lot of improvement.  You are getting up there in years and those years are not wearing well.  Seriously, you are Asian -- so even given your age, there is NO excuse for you to be so out of shape.

A word of advice to you and all women:  do not let your waistline expand if you are not willing to let your man leave you.

As you know, almost none of CCL's friends approved of his relationship with you, given its dysfunction and your negative impact on his soul and creative output.  CCL never thought of you as a long-term partner, but we all know why he was with you for so long, which saddens everyone.  I will not embarrass you here by listing all the crazy shit you have done regarding CCL since the break-up.  Lord knows he has done his share of regrettable things since then too, but the difference was that his actions were born of pain and not irrational mean-spiritedness like yours. 

And please stop throwing CCL's name around.  We get it.  You dated a famous director.  But that is over, so get over it.  His best work is yet to come, and hopefully yours is too.

C, I really hope you can change.  Good luck girl.

------------------------

And for you dilly:  As much as it sucks to say, you were not a long-termer either.  I feel like a bitch for pointing this out because you are actually super cool and generally nice.  Some girls are not meant to be "serious" relationship material, and you appear to be one of those.  Enjoy your 30's girl.  I would focus on your career and your family/girlfriends.

[12 Mar 2006|01:59am]
The fucked up thing is that while small Asian genitilia works as an advantage for Asian girls, it doesn't quite work that way for Asian guys. Fucking double standard.

How y'all doing? Anybody read this? Why hasn't anybody added me?

[13 Dec 2005|07:39am]
I have determined that, unfortunately, it all comes down to dick size.

[08 Dec 2005|04:40pm]
Here are some questions.

*

Why are all Korean-Americans so fucked up in the head? Big love to my K-Am peeps, but what the hell is wrong with you all? Either you are brainwashed Christian sell-outs, or you are chain-smoking criminal punk wanna-be's. My theory is your psychologically unbalanced Korean immigrant parents put too much pressure on you to be doctors or something, so it seriously fucks up your family dynamics and your self-perceptions. Seriously, does anyone know of a Korean American person who isn't seriously deep down fucked up in the head?

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What the fuck is up with rabidly evangelical Christian Asians? You know who you are, you fucking sell-outs. Are you so utterly incapable of dealing with the vagaries and complexities of life that you rush to embrace the ridiculous and nonsensical religion of the white man? You freaks really disturb me. Probably the worst ones are the dudes who try to project the "hey look at me - i'm cool because i own a skateboard or talk in Southern Cali slang or listen to godawful Christian rock or wear (gay-ass looking) jewelry, but I am DOWN WITH MY HOMEBOY JESUS!" look. Fucking poser sell-outs. Yeah, I know you get no love or moral direction from your parents, but still dude, what the fuck.

*

Why do we Asians rule LiveJournal and Xanga and other online social networks? Seriously, if you only conducted your life online, your perception would be that Asians comprise 75% of all internet users. Asians and the homosexuals rule the internet. This has something to do with our retarded levels of face-to-face social interaction ability, or something like that.

*

I have noticed a disturbing trend regarding fat Korean dudes on Livejournal. Some are quite funny and when you are reading their blogs you think "Wow this guy is pretty cool, from what he writes, he must get mad play" but then they make the mistake (repeatedly) of posting pictures of themselves on their blogs, and then you are all "What the fuck? This dude's face is made of dough?" And there you are looking at this pasty dude who you suddenly realize simply can NOT be as cool as he writes that he is because instead of looking like that cut Korean dude from Lost, he has no discernible facial features such as a chin or cheekbones or a normally-protruding nose. Damn, if he wasn't wearing his glasses, then you wouldn't even see his eyes that are barely visible as they stuggle to peek out through all the swollen dough. What up Whiskeyagogo, Caffeineguy, Doorknobdude et al?

*

And you people just loooooove, Girlyunderwear, don't you? And by "you people," I mean all you sick whitey 30+ year-old homosexual pedophiles who jones after her for looking like a little boy. Of course, Girlyunderwear chooses to continue giving these guys what they want with her non-stop posting of photos of herself that basically amount to (male) kiddie porn. The dirty thing though is that I find her really hot too. Does this mean I am a gay pedo? For sure! Why does she post so many pictures of herself on the internet for the world to see? Who the fuck knows, but keep them coming! The sad thing is that she will never have a normal healthy relationship because no dude with normal sexual desires would ever go for her. That, and her personality and attitude are apparently, to use a technical term, "shit."

*

This dude Hipstomp is a good writer. Obviously, I can't write worth shit, so who am I to judge though? But still, buy this dude's books when he starts publishing them. Until then, if "then" ever happens becuase he is apparently lazy as fuck, check out the blog he writes for Kim Jong Il. I forgot the address, but you can find it easily since it is very popular.

*

Will Memoirs of a Geisha make a shitload of money at the box office? Undoubtedly. But let's say how about suppose if it were instead a movie starring five of the hottest Asian MALE actors + one hot Asian FEMALE actor.... rather than being the OTHER way around?? Fuck. I can't wait to hear all the bullshit non-Asian-fetish reasons that all the Asian-fetish White guys will be giving as to why they went to see this movie. Those reasons will be the same reasons that they would NOT be offering if the movie had that reverse gender thing going.

*

Speaking of Asian-fetish White guys... nevermind, that is a topic for another day. Just a brief word to you Asian sisters who do date our Caucasian brothers: AT LEAST you could choose to date the attractive ones! Shit! When you keep going out with the ugly, dorky ones, it reflects badly on EVERY Asian person for a multitude of reasons. But that is a topic for another day.

[08 Dec 2005|06:52am]
The thing aobut hapa girls is that they are so hot about 85% of the time but then you get afraid that a little bit too much white (ie, FAT) got into them in their genes. You just hope that they got the best of both worlds, but beware if they get the worst! Then you have a mess on your hands. You know one thing I DDONNTT understand??? How some Asian sisters can be FAT! What the fuck? I'm sorry my Asian sister, but you are lazy and stupid if you are fat. LAZY because you can't keep the baby fat down DESPITE having genetics and Mother Nature on your side. Fucking STUPID because you don't seem to realize how worthless you are to men when you are overweight. Or maybe you don't care what guys think about you, then that is cool. I am same unenthusiastic about dudes being attracted to me too. There is a DIRECT NEGATIVEcorelatoin between your weight and the esteem in which we men hold you. If we men say otherwise, then we are just being nice or else we just aren't drunk (honest) enough at that moment like I am RIGHT now! Look at it this way, I am kind of on the short side heightwise and otherwise but a lot of girls don't dig short guys like me. Kind of sucks, but there is nothing I can do about being taller. Well, guess what?? You, my chubby Asian sister, CAN DO somethign about being FAT! (And fat to guys is approximately 1 billion times more damning than shortness is to girls I bet.) It is so easy! So pllllllllllesase, my beautiful Asian sisters, PUT DOWN the twinkie because you are breaking my heart to see you like that. Moreover, I am dfrrrrrunk!!!!1 But I digress because I was talking about hapa girls. Do I have to capitalize Hapa? I will capitalize the Girl From Smallville and the Girl From The Olympic Volleyball Team and That One Actress From That One Movie Called THE BIG HIT (I Think) and The Ningja From SIN City and I Forgot Who ELSE so look it up on hapa.com. What was I going to say about hapa girls????? Damn, I forgot. They are hot though! Sometimes. No, most of the time. Roughly 85.0000% of the time, using 4 significant digits after the decimal place.

[08 Dec 2005|03:58am]
Angryasianman might be a misnomer because I am not actually all that angry. But I AM an Asian man, so 2 out of 3 is not so bad. And anywho, I already created this account, so I suppose I am stuck with the name. There is a guy on the internet who calls himself angryasianman who happens to run the entertaining blog at angryasianman.com, but I am not that guy. I am a different guy. But helloooo to everyone. Nice to meet you. I am right pleased to be here.

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